New blog URL

From now on, this blog will be continued at theunbabyblog.weebly.com

23 Weeks PP

Alright, back down to 5 lbs remaining. It always amazes me just how difficult these last 5-10 lbs really are to lose!!! I did the P90X Ab Ripper all week, some running, did another race (The Highland Mudder, which was sooooooooo fun!!!), some deck of cards Plyo workouts and attended Stroller Strong Moms a few times. I was also able to burn 1,000 calories in a day without too much trouble, so I will be pursuing that challenge further. At the moment, my muscles are pretty sore and my hip flexors and joints in general are killing me, so I'm taking a bit of a recovery week. My husband is leaving town for a few days so I can't do my runs sans kids and it's kind of a perfect time to take it easy. I plan to do a bunch of yoga and am already excitedly planning my hard core new workout plan for the following week!!! I can't wait! At the moment still eating whatever the heck I want, whenever I want, although I am toying with the idea of a once-a-week/24-hour detox.

Total weight gained: 46 lbs
Weight lost: 40.8 lbs
Weight left to lose: 5.2 lbs
Fat %: 22.8
Muscle %: 38.8

The 1,000 Calorie Challenge

So remember like 3 days ago when I said I was going to count the calories I was eating? Yeah, that's not gonna work. Today I drank part of a Gatorade before Ashton spilled the rest. I have no idea how much. I gave him a piece of pizza, but I ate the crust and dipped it in a tiny bit of blue cheese. Oh and he didn't finish the last 3 bites of his pizza, so I did. No idea how many calories. I'm sure some extensive google searches would help me out, but I'm gonna have to side with Sweet Brown on that one. I never realized how much food I share with my toddler until I tried to count the damn calories. As someone who has never had a problem over-eating or even eating when I'm not hungry, all the trouble is not worth it to me. So I decided to approach this from a different angle: I LOVE my new Polar watch, which (combined with an included heart rate monitor) calculates the amount of calories I burn when I exercise. So I aspire to burn 1,000 calories a day. And then eat whatever the heck I want. Considering that I burned over 600 calories in Stroller Strong Moms alone this morning and I do a lot of other little workouts throughout the day, I think that should be perfectly possible. If I am completely fatigued, I will burn some calories walking or doing yoga. Or I'll add some push-ups. There is a way, every day. I am also going to count playing the violin, but I'm going to leave breast feeding out of it for now, even though that alone burns about 500 calories a day. So starting tomorrow (Wednesday), this is the new plan!!
In the meantime, here are some more comparison pics to keep me going.

Run, Run, Run!

The bombings at the finish line of the Boston Marathon yesterday weigh heavily in everyone's hearts, particularly in those of runners all around the world. I consider myself a new runner. Sure, I got myself up to a 5K level after Ashton was born and then stopped altogether, but now I can tell I will never stop, as long as my legs will carry me. Ever since I ran the 5K for SMA last month, it's been a recurring realization that running is a privilege. I run because I can, and as I have seen many people around me who cannot run, whether it be due to a paralyzing disease, injury from a car accident or in war or any number of incidents that can occur in a blink of an eye, I realize that I will run as long as I can because this privilege can be revoked at any day, any time. As a non-runner none of this meant anything to me at all. This is why I tell people sometimes "Why don't you try to run? Just try. It will change your life." All that being said, I'm all about living life to the fullest and challenging myself every time I possibly can. Sure, I want to lose weight and look good naked and feel good and all that, but it's a journey worth taking as long as you can. It's the main reason I'm a professional musician: there is no "I did it! I'm done!" Your journey is your life. If I were to recommend anything to anyone who wanted to get started on exercising, I would say these things:

1) When given the choice to walk or run, always run. You can always stop if it's too much. Always try the push-ups from your toes. Always do the harder version first. You may surprise yourself.

2) Make little goals along the way. I recently accomplished my goal to complete Insanity, which I originally bought 2 years ago. I finally did it! Goals are what make the world go round.

3) Music, baby. It's my life. And I can't run without it. I spent some time googling runners' playlists to see what got them motivated and I learned one thing: it doesn't matter what gets other people motivated. You need your own playlist. I may be the only person who runs to a shuffle of Stravinsky's Apollo ballet, Metallica, "This little light of mine" by Raffi (makes me think of my kids), Chopin Nocturnes, Justin Timberlake, Pitbull, Brahms, Michael Jackson, etc. It works for me. Music is the best part.

Happy running!

22 Weeks PP

This was a fun week. Despite the fact that I seem to have hit a bit of a plateau in my weight loss (although I lost fat and gained muscle this week, so that's good!), a couple things happened. At the conclusion of the Stroller Strong Moms Get Fit Challenge, I ended up winning in the "Most Weight Lost" category...which I could attribute to Insanity OR I could attribute to the more likely reason that I was lucky to have just had a baby when the challenge started and probably would have lost weight anyway. So I feel a little bad that I was given a gift card for that, but I guess I'll consider it a push present. :) It's not that I wasn't working hard, I just think I had an advantage that maybe no one else had at that time. Anyway, I suppose I will shut up and be grateful.

The second bit of exciting news this week is that I did indeed finish Insanity!! Albeit a week and a half late, but I can confidently say that I tried my best on every single workout in the program and my level of fitness has, without a doubt, improved by leaps and bounds. Insanity is a very well-designed workout program. Shaun T, who is credited with creating it and leads it in the videos, is an excellent trainer. The amount of time spent warming up the body in the beginning, stretching, doing the actual workout, and cooling down is really perfect. I finished every day feeling tired, sore in a good way, and never injured. I would highly recommend this workout to anyone who is not pregnant, injured, or has a medical condition that would make it impossible to push yourself. No matter where you are in your strength when you start, you will be much stronger when you finish, and that is the beauty of Insanity. There is one thing I ended up being slightly disappointed by in the end. While my whole body is now toned, I didn't slim down as much as I wanted to. Insanity is mostly a plyometrics program. I worked hard every time, was dripping buckets of sweat, and pushing myself to my max. However, the moves require a lot of strength to be able to do quickly. There are only so many times I can jump and do push-ups before my muscles need a break because I had no strength when I started. So when I would have to stop for a little break, it was almost always not because of my heart rate being too fast, but because my muscles were just so tired. In the end, I don't regret any of this though because my goal was not to just lose weight and get thin, but to get toned and develop muscle. Insanity toned me a LOT and slimmed me a little. I am very much looking forward to getting back into a lot of running and spinning now, which is what has slimmed me down in the past, while still keeping up with target toning exercises.

I have said many times that I won't diet. I have decided to more or less keep track of my calories though, especially after the dizzy spells I was having last week. I plan to maintain a very vigorous workout schedule and want to make sure that what I am putting in my body is working efficiently to keep me safe and get the results I want. I also ordered one of those badass Polar watches/heart rate monitors that all my friends have (what can I say, they look cool) so I can get a good idea about how many calories I am burning as well. I am very excited to see what this week will bring!

Total weight gained: 46 lbs
Weight lost: 39.4 lbs
Weight left to lose: 6.6 lbs
Fat %: 23.0
Muscle %: 39.2

21 Weeks PP

Ha ha....ha....hhaaaaa...I feel like there are many things that have prevented me from working out lately (AKA FINISHING INSANITY!), like working a lot and having some ridiculous dizzy spells that made me unable to get around my house without holding on to furniture, but I'm soldiering on and feeling perfectly fine today. It's harder than I expected to combine the randomness of my life with that intense program. If all goes according to plan (When does it ever? Would be a nice change!), I will be done on Monday night! Time to DO THIS!!
As far as stats go, I gained two freakin pounds this week. I blame it on trying to eat all day yesterday when I was feeling dizzy, but who knows. According to my fancy scale, I gained half a percentage of muscle, which is the most I have ever gained in one week. I also gained a little fat too, so that sucks. I know there are ups and downs though and while I know people are pretty supportive about how I look now (thank you, guys), it's just not gonna work for me. So...yeah. I'm not trying to be a whiny little bitch about it or say I'm fat, but I'm fat for me and feel this pressure coming from the outside to "just relax, you look fine". I maintain pretty high standards for myself and because I know I can be better, I'm not interested in mediocrity. I really think I WILL reach a point where I am happy with at least my weight and frame, and I will gladly acknowledge when that time comes, but that day is certainly not today!
In the meantime, coming soon: Insanity completion post!!

Total weight gained: 46 lbs
Weight lost: 39 lbs
Weight left to lose: 7 lbs
Fat %: 23.2
Muscle %: 39.0

Accepting the Unacceptable

I cannot tell you how many times I have started to write this post and stopped because I just HATE this topic so very much. My blog would not be complete without it though. I hate this topic because while I KNOW I will lose all the weight and I KNOW I will tone my muscles to look amazing, there is just a whole room full of elephants. There are things that happen when you get pregnant and have a baby that you cannot change with diet and exercise. Sigh...where to begin? There are certain weird things like skin discolorations and losing a bunch of hair after the birth, which is terrifying, but those things go back to normal. I know women whose feet grow during pregnancy and never shrink back to their original size. Same goes for hips. I'm super lucky because out of all the things I just mentioned, all I have had to deal with is the hair loss, and it's unpleasant but it eventually stops. I have to admit that originally my single greatest fear after having the baby was...you know...the whole "throwin a hot dog down a hallway" thing. Sorry, that's probably the best way I can put it! In a way, I'm happy that I couldn't have been more wrong and that most women I have talked to were equally surprised at that not being an issue (who knew??) especially with the lovely discovery of kegal exercises, so that's was a pleasant surprise indeed! Yay, Mother Nature, you got something right in this twisted game called procreation! Ok, so how about the other stuff? Let's talk about bellies first. Some women have diastasis recti. Google it for a complete definition. I'll tell you now that it's a separation of the abdominal muscles as a result of pregnancy, which can sometimes cause that belly "pooch" that NEVER goes away for some women. I feel very, very lucky that I did not have that with either baby, although I have read that there are exercises that can eliminate the muscle separation. The belly is a challenging thing anyway, because after all, that's where that GIANT baby grew. I am speaking cluelessly because I got pregnant one year after my son was born and didn't have a chance to see how toned I could make my belly after having a baby. I also wasn't really trying to tone it. I guess it looked good, but it wasn't skin tight like it was before I ever got pregnant. That is something I'll have to work on and see if it's possible now that I'm done having babies. I believe it is. But I think it must be THE most difficult area to tone. I'm always up for a challenge though. Maybe I will have a blog devoted entirely to belly-toning after this one ends in August...hmm...
It's time to talk about stretch marks. Something like 80% of pregnant women get them somewhere on their body. I got some with both pregnancies. With Ashton they were on my boobs, butt and thighs and not a single one on my belly. With Aurélia I got just a couple small ones on my belly and my hips and none of the places I had them with Ashton. They have already ALL faded and are nearly invisible. I never had the big red ones, so I'm pretty grateful about that. Stretch marks suck though. I know, there's that quote about a tiger earning her stripes, being even MORE beautiful after, yadi yada, whatever, I HATE them and always will. I love my babies but I don't need permanent scars to remind me how they contorted my body, thank you very much. They are not bad though and again, I'm very lucky and I will have no problem wearing a bikini when I'm toned enough, I am not embarrassed by them (especially since they are becoming less and less visible anyway), but YEAH, I miss my old pretty skin that was smooth EVERYWHERE.
And last but not least...boobs. Freakin boobs. Contrary to popular belief, what happens to your boobs is a result of pregnancy, not breast-feeding. They grow a billion sizes too big, look amazing for awhile (unless you get stretch marks), then you get these weird brown "National Geographic nipples" (apparently so the baby can find them...come on...really, evolution? We haven't come past that??) and you feed your baby and your boobs look okay... but then you stop. And they shrink back to their original size... But they aren't perky anymore... And again, I am no expert because I barely had stopped nursing before I got pregnant again, but I hope those dang nipples at least become pink again. I have talked to some friends who tell me they managed to acquire pretty decent "lifted" looking post-baby boobs with weight-training, so you can be damn sure I'll be doing a lot of that. In the meantime, hey, if anyone wants to pay for my boob job, I would be more than happy to accept it. So yeah, that's my candid post about all things truly miserable. It had to be done. Back to business as usual!

My Inner Figure is a Size 2

Having a baby is interesting because to some extent, you have the opportunity to decide how to reshape your body. Of course, baby or not, people always have this opportunity, but when you have a baby, the task becomes quite a bit more obvious. I think that so much of it is making your external appearance reflect who you feel that you are inside. There are so many different sizes and shapes of women that are beautiful. And different people find different things attractive. Sure, you can see on TV/movies what is "in" and how the so-called ideal woman's figure has changed over the years, but not everyone SHOULD look the same. We all have different heights, different boob and hip sizes, different attributes, etc. I consider myself lucky to have had the opportunity to be pregnant twice and experience some serious extremes. For example, going from an A cup to a D. Wowza!!! Going from being a super skinny size 0 to gaining 65 lbs and having curves in every place you can imagine. I know women who have a baby and realize they LOVE being curvier and try to stay that way. It is all about how you feel your body was meant to be shaped and what makes you confident and happy. I naturally have hips. Always have. So no matter how skinny I get, I will always have an hourglass figure. However, by nature I am small-chested and only 5'2". I have thought about this a lot lately, and I am most confident as a size 2. Being very curvy, as I have been and continue to be even now, drives me CRAZY, to be honest. It's not that I think it's unattractive. It's just not me. And it scares me when I see it in the mirror because I feel like I am in someone else's body and the kind of clothes I want to wear look weird. I like being small. I like being petite and able to fit in tiny spaces. I have been a size 0 and looked skeletal, so I think that is too small, especially with my hips, so I don't believe that "skinnier-is-better". Anyway, my point here is that I am realizing there is so much more to this process than simply losing the weight that was gained during pregnancy. It's about finding yourself and reflecting it on the outside. Which for me is: Size 2, curvy hips, toned body, ridiculously pale (I don't have any interest in tanning), and long hair. :) That's what the little cartoon character of myself looks like in my head. I just need to make the mirror reflect the same. Maybe this is what turning 30 is all about? Took me this long to figure out who I am.

20 Weeks PP

It's hard to believe it has already been 20 weeks. This marks the halfway point of my 40-week blog! I am kicking myself right now for not managing to finish Insanity in the original timeline, because then I would be DONE! But after a busy work week, I have a chance to get it done once and for all! With only five pounds left to lose, I'm excited about doing some major toning during the second half of this blog's short life. Something really, really cool has happened since I have been gaining muscle in my back and shoulders: I no longer have excruciating middle back pain after a couple orchestra rehearsals! I used to have to go to a chiropractor weekly when I was playing nine shows/week because it got so bad. That was in 2009. My chiropractor's advice to me was "lift weights and eat red meat." Well I didn't do much of either, but lately the Insanity workout has given me more strength than I have ever had in my life and after over 14 hours of playing in a 4-day span, my back feels just fine, so that was a truly unexpected positive. Other than that, I don't have much else to report. Hopefully it will be a delightful, sweat-filled week.


Total weight gained: 46 lbs
Weight lost: 41 lbs
Weight left to lose: 5 lbs
Fat %: 22.7
Muscle %: 38.5

Get Fit Challenge Ends!

You may remember that I posted about the Stroller Strong Moms Get Fit 2013 Challenge back in January:

http://theunbabyblog.blogspot.com/2013/01/10-weeks-pp.html?m=0

Well it just finished and I am happy with the results! After ten weeks, I lost 11 lbs and 5% body fat. This makes me happy, considering I made no dietary changes whatsoever and got quite a bit more muscle tone in the process.

In the fitness evaluation, I am happy to say I improved in ALL AREAS!

January stats:

Shuttle Sprint: 42 seconds
Step-ups: 115 in 2 minutes
Half mile run: 4 minutes
Push-Ups: 16 in 1 minute
Timed Plank: 2 minutes

March stats:

Shuttle Sprint: 37 seconds
Step-ups: 139 in 2 minutes
Half mile run: 3 min 32 sec
Push-Ups: 40 in 1 minute
Timed Plank: 2 min 30 sec

According to the fitness experts, I would be at an ideal BMI if I lose just ONE more pound of fat! Of course, being insane as I admit that I am, I would like to lose about 15 more lbs. I don't want to be underweight, but I'd like to be as low as possible on the healthy spectrum. That's all. :)

So many ladies did an AWESOME job in these 10 weeks and I am beyond grateful to be constantly surrounded by others with the same motivation to be healthy and happy.

19 Weeks PP

This week...FAIL. Workout-wise. Ok, so all those times I said "at least no matter what happens, I will be done with Insanity on March 31!"...yeah. Not gonna happen. This week kicked my ASS. I barely did Insanity. I think I went to one Stroller Strong Moms class. But I'm trying to not be so hard on myself because this week was crazy. I had an audition recently, so I had to prioritize practicing and miss some workouts. For whatever reason, my kids woke up a lot during the nights this week and I barely got any sleep and felt like a zombie most days. I had a ton of headaches. I didn't eat well. I had family visiting. I got a new student. Usually one or two of these things is manageable but when they all happen simultaneously, I have no hope. I am happy that last weekend was my first 5k and today I did Mud Mania, which was another 5k but with over 20 obstacles and a LOT of fun. So I did work out a little. Ugh. But back to Insanity...unless I do double workouts every single day, it won't happen. So I am doing something I don't want to do: extending one week. I'm just going to pick back up and finish it. In good news, despite my failures this week, I have lost all but 6 lbs of my pregnancy weight!!! When I see pictures of myself, I still get disgusted though, which is why I think I want to lose another 10 after that. But one thing at a time. In the meantime...it's a new week. Time to try again.

Total weight gained: 46 lbs
Weight lost: 39.8 lbs
Weight left to lose: 6.2 lbs
Fat %: 23.1
Muscle %: 38.3

18 Weeks PP

Another pound lost, nearly 8 to go. This week I was very, very tired. As a result, I am behind a couple Insanity workouts, which I will double up on this week. No matter what happens, I WILL finish all of it by the deadline of March 31!!! Just two weeks to go! I am already starting to fantasize about what workouts I will do when Insanity is over! A lot more Stroller Strong Moms, a lot more running, and a lot more gym classes! A few really cool things happened this week though. I finally got a double jogging stroller (a BOB Ironman- one of the best!!!) and although I have only used it once, it is absolutely amazing! I feel so free pushing that thing compared to what I had before. So that makes life easier. I even got a nifty weather guard for it in case it is cold or rainy, so the kids will stay comfortable and I will have NO EXCUSES! Ok, the second cool thing that happened is that I ran my first 5K race ever today! It was to raise money for research to find a cure for Spinal Muscular Atrophy. I know a family who has two very sweet little girls with this disease and I ran for them. It simply needs a cure.
It was a hilly course, but I managed to run the whole thing and finish in 26:15. My ultimate goal is to finish a 5K in 20 minutes, so as soon as Insanity is over, speed and endurance will be my new goals. I don't know how long it will take me, but I know I can do it.
And the final cool thing that happened is that I can now fit into my pre-pregnancy pants! Last week I couldn't, this week I can! It's such a good feeling. Sometimes it feels like your hips will just never be small enough again. Like, the bone structure has changed. Luckily, after both kids I am back into my old pants and I don't have to buy a bunch of new clothes! So this is definitely a milestone and it significantly increases the amount of clothes I can wear each week. In the meantime, this week will be much of the same (hopefully less tired) and I look forward to doing Mud Mania next Saturday!

Total weight gained: 46 lbs
Weight lost: 38.2 lbs
Weight left to lose: 7.8 lbs
Fat %: 23.7
Muscle %: 38.4

17 Weeks PP

This week was rough due to sickness and my inability to do anything except for Insanity (and some spinning), but it was also the first week of Insanity's Month 2, which makes Month 1 seem like taking a bubble bath. Motivation continues to be challenging when you know that you will be in extreme discomfort for about an hour each day. Imagine that it is -50 F outside and you have to take all your clothes off and run around the block for an hour. Not only are you embarrassed if anyone sees you, but you spend a good 10 min staring out the window to try to talk yourself into it and convince yourself you will not die. This is how I feel every morning before I do Insanity. Only 3 weeks remain though, and I WILL DO IT! The program is actually designed very well. It pushes you hard, but the warm-ups, cool-downs, and stretches are what make it possible to do every day. My muscles have been sore constantly since Day 1, but not injured. After this, my workout routine will include a lot more rest time, but I'll be damned if I don't get my money's worth and at least see what it's like to do it as it was meant to be done! It's only 9 [terrible] weeks, after all. I can see the fat melting before my eyes and muscles are toning. The place that takes the longest is the belly. After all, it is where I hosted a baby for 9 months and I didn't really exercise that area during that time. I had given up doing the Ab Wheel exercises a few weeks ago because I felt like I was doing too much. Well, for fun (ha!) I did it last night and I woke up this morning with noticeably more toned abs than I had yesterday! Needless to say, the Ab Wheel has been reinstated into my routine.
I have been thinking again about how long I will write this blog, and I have decided to end it at 40 weeks Post-Partum. After all, that's how long I was pregnant, so I think the only way I can legitimately call it an "Un-Baby Blog" is by keeping the same timeline for getting "un-pregnant". I am going to see just how badass I can make my body by that point, which is August 17. I see no reason to keep a blog after that because I am by no means a fitness expert.


Total weight gained: 46 lbs
Weight lost: 37.2 lbs
Weight left to lose: 8.8 lbs
Fat %: 23.8
Muscle %: 38.4

Is There Anything I WON'T Do?

I am a pretty motivated person. If I believe in something, I will make it happen. There is no "I hope I lose my pregnancy weight" or "I hope I can wear a 2-piece again." I mean, those things are going to happen and I have no doubt in my mind. But at what cost? There are a million diet and exercise plans out there and I'm willing to bet that they ALL provide results because you are doing something. And something is always better than nothing. I really feel like this is a very, very personal thing. So while I am determined to shed the last 10 lbs and end up with an awesomely sexy, toned body afterwards, there is one thing I won't do. I refuse to give up ANY food. Luckily, it is not a weakness of mine to overeat. Sometimes I crave a bloody steak. Sometimes I need a burger from Wendy's. I don't drink much soda, but if I am craving a Coke, I am definitely going to drink one. I eat a LOT of chocolate. No, never all at once, but little pieces throughout the day. I will put whole milk in my mocha, eat full-fat cheese, and cook with butter because it tastes better. If I die 10 years before you, let me tell you right now, IT WAS WORTH IT! I also crave salads, fruits, and vegetables so it's not all bad. Do I believe I can accomplish my lofty goals with this kind of culinary hedonism? Damn right I can and will. I grew up in a home without soda and we had Wheaties, Cheerios, and oatmeal for breakfast. If there were sweets, they were usually locked in a drawer in my parents' room OR they were some kind of disgusting vanilla sandwich cookie rip-off name brand that my brothers and I only turned to in desperation when the baking chocolate chips were gone. I admire their ability to keep our home healthy, but there was a constant feeling of junk food deprivation. Frequently, my brother and I would anxiously await our allowance money so we could go spend it on candy and eat it is quickly as possible before anyone could take it away. We were healthy, but I am pretty sure I will never deprive myself of anything ever again. Because the funny thing about eating a lot of junk (at least for me) is that I start to crave healthy food. Basically, I want it all. The healthy stuff and the crappy stuff. And I exercise enough to do that. Like I said, it's all very personal. I'm going to have some chocolate now.

16 Weeks PP

Another week has flown by and I am now TEN pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight! I think it took me over six months to get to this point after I had Ashton, so I am happy! I have had some trouble with motivation this week though. It is hard to want to do Insanity EVER. I have tried doing it around 7am before my Stroller Strong Moms class. I have tried doing it around noon after. I have tried doing it before dinner and after dinner. Basically, I just never want to do it. Because I hate to give up (I'm pretty stubborn that way), I have decided to think of it as a virus that has to run its course. So, in 30 days I will be Insanity-free FOREVER! But until then, each day continues to be a challenge. I am now taking a friend's advice to try it barefoot, and it is actually EASIER on my joints, believe it or not. So that makes it easier to tolerate. One more time slot in the day remains for me to try, and that is around 5am. There is a spin class a couple days a week at 5:30 that I want to take and the other days I want to see if I can do Insanity then to get it over with. I'm usually awake then anyway, so we will see how that goes this week!
In the meantime, while I am not at all happy with my body yet, it is certainly shrinking and constantly reminds me of that scene in one of my favorite movies, Death Becomes Her, where Meryl Streep's character drinks the eternal life potion and her body instantly transforms and tightens into a younger version of herself, as demonstrated in this awesome clip:

http://youtu.be/fC8FQ6wxWdI

I feel like that is exactly what is happening to me, just at a much slower pace!

Total weight gained: 46 lbs
Weight lost: 36lbs
Weight left to lose: 10 lbs
Fat %: 24.2
Muscle %: 38.5

15 Weeks PP

Zero pounds lost this week, zero fat lost, and a whopping tenth of a percentage of muscle gained. Awesome. Some weeks it's a lot, some weeks it's nothing. That's how the game goes, I suppose. I felt particularly negative this week. Changes are occurring, clearly, because I can now comfortably wear my favorite pre-pregnancy jeans again...BUT I still had a (very) rough time with how everything looks underneath it all. And before I have to field all the "shut up, you just had a baby!" criticisms, I just want to insert a friendly reminder that I am not satisfied with a damn thing until I'm done here. That means smokin hot in a bikini. Why not aim high? It's frustrating as hell, but certainly possible. I'm not a fan of gradual transformation, but I am also realistic (believe it or not!) in knowing it will take time. There is only so much a person can exercise without getting injured, and believe me, I am doing as much as I can! My current routine involves Stroller Strong Moms, Insanity, running, spinning, Zumba, and a Yoga/Pilates class. I only made it to SSM twice this week because of the stupid rain. Normally that wouldn't bother me, but I am really struggling with this stupid double NON-jogging stroller, with its dinky plastic, hard to turn, hard to go over curbs, hard to push on even FLAT/DRY ground wheels. As soon as that tax return comes, I am getting my awesome BOB and then it is ON. Insanity has been torturing me as it always does. I hate it but it works. You want to know which parts of your body have flab that you want gone? Do some High Knees. Then you will know exactly where it is. In good news, I am done with Month 1 out of 2!!!! I know Month 2 is way harder though, so I'm not too excited.
Okay, and I'm thinking I want my REAL goal weight to be 10 lbs less than my pre-pregnancy weight. 10 lbs less than THAT is the skinniest I have been as an adult, and I think too skinny. But I'm aiming for another 21 total lbs lost. So hang tight, I may have this blog for a little while longer! Ok, time to kill some more fat! Until next week...


Total weight gained: 46 lbs
Weight lost: 34 lbs
Weight left to lose: 12 lbs
Fat %: 24.7
Muscle %: 38.4

14 Weeks PP

It was another rough week due to reasons beyond my control, but I kept up with the evil "Insanity" workout and managed to lose another 1.5 lbs, half a % of fat, and gained muscle. I have been an awful Stroller Strong Mom, so keeping up with that this week is one of my main goals. And because I am just that crazy, I joined a gym! My main reasons for this are 1) I miss Zumba and want to do it regularly (and get back into teaching!) and I want to do some spin classes. I have never found a better way to burn calories without all the impact. Except maybe swimming, but I am terrible at that...also, not only does this gym have childare, I am paying HALF of what I used to pay at the Y, AND it's a really nice place. So it's safe to say that this will be a big part of my evening routine. Here we go, another week!


Total weight gained: 46 lbs
Weight lost: 34 lbs
Weight left to lose: 12 lbs
Fat %: 24.7
Muscle %: 38.3

13 Weeks PP

This week was ROUGH. "Insanity" is teaching me a lot about myself. It is hard and painful. I never ever want to do it. I will miss a day and then double up the next day, which SUCKS. And because I hate it so much, it's very difficult for me to do it at night when I'm exhausted from the day. So I have determined that the only way I will get through it is to do it first thing in the morning, when I am at my peak energy level. I can do that, eat and take a break, and still make it to my Stroller Strong Mom class by 9:30am. That way, yoga in the evenings will be calming and enjoyable.
I am having major issues with food. I don't eat enough. With breastfeeding all day and working out and barely eating more than my toddler's left-overs, I have been feeling very weak. Lately my rule with "Insanity" is to just turn the freakin DVD on. Then just start the workout. Okay, not so bad. Don't look at the clock because 40 minutes is a looooong time. Ok. Some days I feel like an effin superhero and can actually keep up with the crazies on the screen! Other days (especially this week) I have been trying to just keep moving the whole time, pathetically and slowly getting through the exercises. But I have learned that I NEED TO EAT. I am burning way too many calories. I lost 3 lbs this week and 1% body fat. It's apparently effective to be malnourished, but not recommended, because I cannot function. I cannot clean my house and don't feel like doing anything. I need to find a way to make sure I am refueling. Another problem I have is that if I feel even remotely stressed, the first thing I will do is not eat. And that happens a lot. Also, with babies it's easy not to eat. If I'm running late in the morning, all I care about is getting them fed and dressed. If I don't have time for myself, I don't do it. It's certainly a very difficult balance. So aside from yet another attempted schedule change, my only major goal this week is to eat more. It's a funny goal for someone who is trying to lose weight. :)
Onward.


Total weight gained: 46 lbs
Weight lost: 33 lbs
Weight left to lose: 13 lbs
Fat %: 25.2
Muscle %: 37.5

Another Week

Here is the line-up for this week, starting tomorrow. For the Fitness Challenge, I will be doing my push-up and plank goals every morning. Stroller Strong Moms on Mon/Wed/Fri, Yoga on Tues/Thurs/Sat, Insanity Week 2, and my 30 ab wheels every night. There will be some Couch to 5K days in there as well, but not sure when yet. Ok, it's a new week. I'm ready!!!

12 Weeks PP

This is probably the first week I am not DISGUSTED by my body, but rather just a little annoyed. I lost a pound, lost a little fat, gained a little muscle. That's all good with me. I am seeing more muscle definition in my abs now, in addition to everywhere else, so hope is restored. I have to confess that my workouts SUCKED this week. I started Insanity on Monday and have stuck to it every day, but have definitely been suffering in the other workouts I had planned. I suppose that's normal since Insanity takes some getting used to. I will again attempt this week to do everything. I am fitting into my size 4's (not the 2's yet, but I think after this last 16 lbs I will), feeling much stronger and not as flabby. I'm going to post a bikini shot here when I'm done...haha...so that will motivate me to not look terrible. There's nothing scarier than throwing on a bikini and letting ANYONE see you in it after you had a baby, believe me, so that fear will carry me to the end. :) Until then, chugging along...


Total weight gained: 46 lbs
Weight lost: 30 lbs
Weight left to lose: 16 lbs
Fat %: 26.1
Muscle %: 37.7

11 Weeks PP

This week felt better. I lost 2 lbs and around Thursday, felt my strength and endurance increase exponentially. This is really a fascinating process. There will be weeks of working hard, sweating and exhausted, with no clear sign that anything is changing and then almost overnight I'll jump over that hump into the next level. I know I will have slow days and fast days, which is why it is important to never give up. I have been playing around with my plan a little and am including the pic I posted before of what I had intended to do this week vs. what I actually did. I'm finding that since I am doing multiple workouts a day, I desperately need to do Yoga 3x/week. So mornings will be committed to Stroller Strong Moms on Monday, Wednesday, Friday with Yoga on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Sunday will be a recovery day with NOTHING. Ab wheel reps are going great, I'm definitely feeling the difference there. I FINISHED the 30-Day Shred!! I'm excited about that and hope it strengthened me enough to tackle Insanity, starting on Monday, every evening except for Sundays (built-in recovery day, thankfully!) Insanity is the most difficult workout I have ever done (or rather, TRIED to do...I made it 11 days once...), so I am honestly feeling very apprehensive and threatened by it...I plan to work hard and keep up with it the best I can, and hope that the Yoga continues to have the wonderful healing/stretching quality that I need. I am currently alternating six Rainbeau Mars Yoga DVDs that I love, so I don't get bored. Not to mention that I am about to being Week 2 of Couch to 5K (out of 8 weeks) and signed up for my very first 5K, which will be on March 16!

Original plan on top vs. what I ended up doing.

The plan for this coming week!

Total weight gained: 46 lbs
Weight lost: 29 lbs
Weight left to lose: 17 lbs
Fat %: 26.4
Muscle %: 37.5

Breastfeeding and Exercise?

Since this IS a post-pregnancy blog, not just a fitness blog, my friend Paola recently brought up a pretty important point that I have yet to mention here: Breastfeeding. Why is this relevant? Well, you may or may not know that a mother who exclusively breastfeeds her infant can burn 500-800 calories a day by just doing that!! It's pretty amazing. So why not just do that? Well, in my experience as a second time mother, breastfeeding expedites the shrinking of the uterus immediately after birth. I'm talking PAINFUL (but necessary) contractions while you are feeding your baby for about the first week. But this helps ensure that you won't continue to look pregnant forever. Thank God for that!! It also makes you trapped-in-a-desert-for-weeks THIRSTY. So I drink a ridiculous amount of water all day long. In a way, it's like working out! So if you can just breastfeed, why work out at all? Breastfeeding does not tone your butt, legs, arms, tummy. It doesn't get rid of the belly fat you develop during pregnancy. I think that by breastfeeding and doing nothing else, you can lose all your pregnancy weight, but you will look untoned. Unless you have ridiculous genetics (I do not), you will not look bikini-ready by breastfeeding alone. Also, it's important to mention that it makes you HUNGRY! You are burning a ton of calories, your body will crave those calories back. I know plenty of women who actually GAIN weight while breastfeeding because they are so hungry and eat more than they should, thinking they have a get-out-of-jail-free card. Now comes another question: Won't exercise reduce my milk supply? I can only speak from my own personal experience, but no, it has not. I am working out like a freak right now, and my little girl is exclusively breastfed (on demand). At almost 11 weeks old, she is a whopping 13 lbs and in the 90th % for weight. However, I want to stress the importance of NOT DIETING! I am not counting my calories and I eat when I am hungry. It doesn't mean I eat cake all day (wouldn't that be nice?). It doesn't hurt anyone to eat healthier. But cutting down? No. I am continuing to eat enough and drink a ton of water while still exercising and toning/losing weight, and I am not having milk supply issues. I think it's all a fine balance and everyone's body is different, but I have found a way to make it work for me and for my baby. Now after I had Ashton, I DID have supply issues because the doctor left a freaking piece of the placenta in there, which didn't come out for 9 weeks and my body thought I was still a little pregnant, I guess? Also, birth control pills really reduced my supply. This time around, I'm in good shape placenta-wise and my husband got snipped, so everything is going so much better in the milk department. :)

Staying on the Wagon

There will always be times for anyone who tries to stick to a plan where one feels a strong urge to dive straight into the beautiful pool of hedonism and disregard everything else. It's human nature. I was lying in the bathtub full of bubbles, falling asleep and thinking about how I was going to somehow, without standing up or getting cold, miraculously zap myself straight into my bed. And then the nagging thought "you still need to do 30 ab wheel reps before you can go to bed!" popped into my head. How long does it take me to do 30 of those? About 2 minutes, maybe less. Yet, I found myself attempting to talk myself out of doing it and I had a lot of good reasons too. Like, I'm really sore today. One time skipping it won't make any difference. I'm tired. But then the little cartoon angel on my shoulder pulled out a hammer and hit me right between the eyes and I realized what I was doing. And then my own mind scared me and I was afraid I would sabotage myself from reaching my goals, especially when it's tough, like today, where I had to do yoga because I was too sore to go to class this morning. And I had to do a lot of modifications in my Shred workout. I just wasn't feeling strong and damn, that bubble bath hit the spot. So in my fear of self-sabotage, I realized I needed a back-up cartoon angel on my shoulder in case this one takes a nap. And that angel is chocolate. Yes, one of my favorite substances of all substances. Can you believe I need to bribe MYSELF? Freud would have had a great time with my brain. Anyway, I am only going to allow myself a small piece of chocolate after each workout I complete. I cannot think of a more brilliant plan, since it's common knowledge that without chocolate, I just don't want to exist. Plus, that will keep me from eating TOO much chocolate. I can only win here! I'm proud to say that I got out of the bath, did my 30 ab reps, and ate my piece of chocolate.

Yoga

Well, it turns out I will need Yoga too. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Yoga!!! I guess I don't associate it with quick weight loss, which is why I haven't made it a priority, but I occasionally need to step back into reality and understand that I can't just abuse my body repeatedly if I expect to continue working out vigorously until March 31! Like I said before, this is just as much for my mind and sanity as it is for my body, and to not be ABLE to work out due to injury would be pretty unfortunate. Especially since I will be doing Insanity in the evenings starting on Monday, I do need to allow myself to recover sometimes. I plan to dedicate Wednesday and Saturday mornings to yoga and do Stroller Strong Moms on Mon, Tues, Thurs, and Fri. Insanity schedules Sunday as a rest day, and I have decided to actually do that. As much as I hate to miss a day (it just makes me feel so much better to be moving!), 24 hours of total recovery can do amazing things for the body. I hate it, but I know it, and my body will thank me for it.
It's hard for me to get out and take a Yoga class with these kids, even though that would be ideal, so I am doing some Rainbeau Mars DVDs. She is, by far, my favorite. I have done several of her DVDs and love them. Yoga is so much more than a "workout", which is unfortunately how so many fitness trainers make it look. It is about breathing, detoxifying, reflecting, healing, stretching, strengthening, balance, feeling positive and grateful, and looking inward, and Rainbeau is wonderful in all these ways. I am including a video here of the lovely Rainbeau Mars performing a solo.

Rainbeau Mars Solo

"Brilliant Way to Lose Weight" ;)

I posted this on my Facebook wall too, but I think it's pretty awesome. Every town should have a set-up like this. Boom.

Click here

Writing it Out

I am always looking for fun ways to stay motivated. When you are trying to lose weight and see big changes, the workouts should ALL push you and make you sweat. It's easy to wake up and say "Do I really want to do something that uncomfortable? It's hard and I'm tired." And then you tell yourself that you will take the day off and start again the next day. And then you feel bad about it when you don't see improvements. For me, it's all about identifying my tendencies and personality quirks. I know that I am an 'all or nothing' perfectionist OCD type of person. So if I start a plan and then miss a day, instead of continuing the next day,it will drive me CRAZY that I missed a day and I will feel behind and either abandon the entire project altogether or feel the need to start over from the beginning. It really helps me to make a plan and actually SEE my progress. So I bought one of those nifty little white dry-erase boards (only one week at a time) with fun, different colored markers so I can plan out my exercise week. I am taking it one workout at a time and checking them off as I go. I'm currently scheduling ab wheels (AM and PM), Stroller Strong Moms (would love to go to every class- 6 days a week!), finishing up the Shred this week, and I just started Couch to 5K with a friend on Mon, Wed, and Fri. Sundays will be my "day off", which means I will do only ab wheels and yoga. It is a LOT but one workout at a time and it's not so bad. And I'm even writing down my current weight, fat% and muscle %, which I hope will all change as each week goes by. Staying strong!

10 Weeks PP

The theme of this post is "Tortoise and the Hare." I have been pretty good about keeping up with all my workouts, and am one measly pound down. I officially started the Stroller Strong Mom 2013 Fitness Challenge. They did my assessment and will do the same thing in 10 weeks to see how much I have improved. These are my January results:

Shuttle Sprint: 42 seconds
Step-ups: 115 in 2 minutes
Half mile run: 4 minutes
Push-Ups: 16 in 1 minute
Timed Plank: 2 minutes

I will link back to this then to see how much better I do in March. Should be interesting!
I had a glimmer of hope yesterday when I tried on a pair of size 4 jeans and was able to pull them up and button them! Two weeks ago I couldn't get them past my thighs, so even though the scale isn't showing it, something must be happening!
Speaking of the scale not showing it, that really annoys me. So I invested in a scale that also displays body fat % and body muscle %. It will be very interesting to see how THOSE numbers change in the next week.
In the meantime, I am excited to have only 7 more Shred workouts left before I start Insanity!!
I am not seeing much of a change in my pictures. Hopefully soon. Blah.


Total weight gained: 46 lbs
Weight lost: 27 lbs
Weight left to lose: 19 lbs
Fat %: 27.1
Muscle %: 37.3

9 Weeks PP

I feel much stronger and my clothes fit better. But I weigh EXACTLY the same. Wow, patience is something I don't do very well when it comes to myself. I'm still pretty disgusted by the way my body looks. I am keeping up with my plan though and I know I am working hard. I don't think a workout can be effective unless you feel like you want to stop the whole time. That's when progress happens. So I will keep blindly plugging along and hope to see some more obvious signs that something is working soon. In the meantime, today is Day 17 of the Shred and I start the official Be Fit Challenge 2013 with Stroller Strong Moms. So that's something to look forward to. After all, I don't think it can be possible to work hard every day and never see results, right?



Total weight gained: 46 lbs
Weight lost: 26 lbs
Weight left to lose: 20 lbs

Okay, So What's the Plan Here?

Now that my level of motivation has been established, what am I going to do to achieve my goals? I stated in earlier posts that I have no plans to diet, and that is still true. My non-pregnant self tends to under-eat as it is. If I have any weaknesses, it is probably to eat a donut or drink a Coke if it's offered to me, but if I don't buy those things EVER, then I will only eat them when they are offered to me and that doesn't worry me at all. Chocolate is VERY important to me, so if that means an extra month of working out to get to my goals, then it's totally worth it! So here is what I am doing:

Ab Wheel: This simple $10 device is incredible. I started using one when I was 17 and had amazing abs. I have worked my way up from barely being able to do 1 rep to being able to do 30! (10+10+10). I do it first thing in the morning and last thing before I go to bed. Only takes a couple minutes and I can feel an enormous difference in my strength and balance now.

Jillian Michaels' 30-Day Shred: I cannot say enough good things about this workout. I did it after I had Ashton and my body changed so fast. The pictures above are the muscle toning I have achieved from this workout in the first 14 days. The unattractive saggy, cellulite-y, extra-fatty parts seemed to be magically absorbed into the body. This workout is only 20 minutes a day for 30 days and every time I do it, I sweat, I max my heart rate, and I'm sore the next day. This is what I do in the evenings after I put Ashton to bed. Today will be Day 15.

Stroller Strong Moms: This is a group of motivated moms here in Columbus (also in Savannah) who understand how hard it is to have little kids and manage to work out consistently. They meet six mornings a week for an hour and have fantastic instructors to teach the classes. They are outside at a park and there is a lot of running with the babies in the strollers (usually around 2 miles per class) as well as strength-training with weights and resistance bands, squats, lunges, sprints, drills, etc. I usually feel like I'm going to throw up when I finish a class and I'm a sweaty, happy mess. I am trying to attend as many mornings a week as possible. I plan to participate in their Get Fit 2013 Challenge , which begins this Monday.

Insanity: When I finish the 30-Day Shred, I plan to do the Insanity workout in the evenings. I did 11 days of it after I had Ashton, and the results were the fastest I have ever seen from any workout. It is EXTREMELY difficult and intense. My goal is to actually do the entire 60-day workout. That would be pretty amazing. The reason I chose this workout over the equally-popular P90X is because Insanity requires no equipment outside of your own body. That makes things a lot easier for me. Plus, it's only 60 days long instead of 90. ;)

Running: I love to run, but it is not something I have been able to consistently schedule yet. Right now my 2-month old is too little for a jogging stroller and I don't want to spend money on an attaching infant seat to use for just a few months. I run in the class with my regular non-jogging stroller, which is NOT easy, but I don't like to use it in my hilly neighborhood. So I wait until Bill comes home and run without the kids. I am going to add runs where I can because I enjoy them so much.

So you may be wondering when I will consider myself "in shape" and ready to be done blogging about it! Well, after I finish Insanity, if I have lost all the weight and look amazing in a bikini (we'll see, I may post a pic...hard to imagine doing that now but you never know!) THEN I will be happy to close this blog and be proud and happy with my new body, which I plan to maintain forever with my ab wheel, Stroller Strong Moms class and running. :)
Edited to add: I just realized that Insanity has an extra "recovery week" in between the two months, so it will take me one week longer than I originally thought. So my new goal date is March 31!!!

The REAL Reasons I am so Damn Motivated

I wanted to write a little bit about motivation because it is so much more than making goals and following through. Really what matters the MOST is that it comes from deep within you. You cannot do it for anyone else and your reasons for doing it have to be so powerful that the thought of not doing it is unbearable. I really think everyone has different reasons for wanting to lose weight and get in shape, but I am going to talk about mine. These are the things that make NOT doing it unbearable.

1. Sanity. It is not randomly placed in the number 1 spot. It IS the most important reason for me. Exercise gives me a tremendous escape. What am I escaping from? I just moved to a new state and had my second child, making that two children under age two. I am a professional musician who went from working every week, often every day, to now once a month, if I'm lucky. I am basically a stay-at-home-mom, and I do NOT like being a stay-at-home-mom. I realize that sounds selfish, but it's just the truth. I love my children more than I will ever love anything else in this world and abhor the thought of hiring a baby-sitter, much less taking them to daycare or anywhere else. I want to see every thing that they do and I want to kiss and hug them all the time. But this role, this sitting at home doing the mundane diaper-changing, tantrum-calming thing isn't for me. I am not crafty at all, I don't sew, I don't like to cook (although thankfully I can), all the rooms in my house are NEVER clean at the same time, I do not enjoy the absolutely exhausting every day routine. I want to perform music and I want to travel, I want to read, I want to have adventures. So why the Hell did I have kids? This baby phase is rough. It's hard not to leave your house just because it's just too much work to get everyone ready. It's hard to always worry about them eating and not getting hurt and learning enough and feeling loved. But I can say wholeheartedly that they are the best thing that has ever happened to me because they show me humanity, grace, humility, and adventure beyond anything I could have ever experienced without them. That being said, as soon as they are old enough, I fully intend to start working more and traveling, having adventures, living the life I want WITH them in it. That will be beautiful. But for now, while I am feeling out of my element and desperate to grasp onto something that will bring me back to myself when I need it the most, I have exercise. It's my own time to push myself, to feel good, to get an adrenaline rush, to STOP worrying, and to get stronger. That was a LONG description, but this is the biggest reason for me.
2. Wardrobe. There is no way I am buying a new wardrobe in bigger sizes. NOT gonna happen.
3. Looking good. I would be lying if I didn't admit to the level of vanity involved here. I'm sorry, I want to look hot naked. So shoot me. I looked good before the baby, so damnit, I am going to look good after. I want to be able to wear anything and not think about some stupid fat roll. I want toned muscles in a bikini. I grew up doing ballet and will never forget the first audition I won at age 9 to be a bon-bon. They lined us all in a row with our numbers pinned to our leotards and a very stern, terrifying woman walked down the line and yelled out which ones of us didn't make the cut based on our looks alone. Not the right height, shape, whatever. I was lucky to make it past that as well as the dancing portion, but those thoughts about how I looked were planted at a young age. The Sesame Street idea that everyone is different and beautiful went straight out the window. As a professional musician, I have been cursed with being a perfectionist, so you can bet that I will not be doing anything half-assed here. I don't want to look like a body-builder, but I want to look good, and won't stop until I have achieved my goal.
4. Confidence. When I don't look good in my own eyes, I don't feel much like leaving my house. Every time I am out in public and I bend to pick something up or sit down or do anything at all, I am extremely aware of my flaws. Call me eccentric. But I'm tired of it and want it to stop. What a waste of brain space, right? I want to carry myself with poise and elegance, not insecurity.
5. Strength. When I work out, I can much more easily carry around my 30 lb toddler and swing him all over the place. I can keep up with him when he runs. It's a pretty wonderful feeling.
6. Energy. I swear to you, exercising is like getting another couple hours of sleep! When I come back from a run, I feel AMAZING. Tired, sweaty, detoxified, hungry, fresh. It's becoming an addiction!
7. Challenge. That feeling you get when you try so hard to do something. And you do it. You win.

8 Weeks PP

It was disappointing to weigh myself this morning and be UP one pound from last week after working so hard all week. An interesting side-effect of the exercising is that I no longer crave chocolate. Now THAT is bizarre. I have definitely been consuming less calories than I am burning off as well as drinking a ton of water, so the only conclusion I can logically draw from all of this is that I am building more muscle. I completed Day 10 of Jillian Michaels' 30-Day Shred this morning and feel significantly stronger than when I started. I think that one thing I can always use more of is cardio. I would like to run more, so I need to make that a priority. I think that is the only thing that will actually make the pounds on the scale go down.
After taking my progress pictures this morning and feeling physically ill at my appearance once again, I decided to harvest the pictures I took when I was losing the 65 lbs I gained after my pregnancy with Ashton. I didn't take my first picture until I was already 10 weeks post-partum, and I already look better than that now. I remember how hard I worked after that and you can clearly see that it paid off in the pictures that followed. By 6 months after his birth, I was able to fit into my size 2 jeans (pictured), but still had 9 lbs left to lose. I didn't notice muscle definition in my abs until 7.5 months. And I know the scale didn't reflect my pre-pregnant weight again until he was 9 months old and I had suffered from a nasty stomach bug. From that point on, I was in great shape until I got pregnant again about 3 months later! So my goal this week is a whole lot more cardio!! :)

Total weight gained: 46 lbs
Weight lost: 26 lbs
Weight left to lose: 20 lbs